Monday, July 27, 2009


I had my termination appointment today. It was very short. I went in, told the guy that I wanted to see someone else, and he gave me a name and phone number. It reminded me of people hitting their friends up for hookers and drug dealers. I'm glad to have that done with. My mom went in after me and spent more time inside with the psychologist than I did.

The new person is supposedly much more soft-spoken and non-confrontational. We shall see. I almost feel like being adolescent and purposely difficult just to rile him. It's Internet trolling in real life. I don't think I really want to see a therapist at all but my parents are forcing me to go. I will end up back in hospital if I start skipping appointments or cancelling so I will just have to bite the bullet for 6 more weeks. I don't want to show this new person my old paper diaries. I think I will keep them to myself and write everything again. I started hushing myself for certain things because I knew they would arouse suspicions. I had many thoughts that were left unwritten.

Tomorrow I have a psychiatry appointment. Hopefully it will be quick. After that I should have more than a week free. My dad and I are going to Manitoba to finish restoring a car. We will drive back afterwards. I am looking forward to doing it, both for the car and for the chance to get away from my mom and little brother. I will miss my dog, though.

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